Newly Born

April 30th, 2012 § 65

Two weeks ago today another created one was born into the world.

She is my niece, and I love her with the weight of my whole being.

I knew before she was born that babies were my favorite ever. I’ve hoped for a long time that heaven will smell like a newborn, and the cuteness of their tiny little existence could just about kill me.

But as I glued my gaze on the miracle of this new child, the one I will know for a lifetime as my niece, I couldn’t help but think about what the world feels like from her perspective—all the newness and fear and wonder and confusion and love.

And my mind landed somewhere so profound, I was utterly undone.

Sleeping in my arms was a gift that abbreviated the entire human condition.

We get born. We get bigger. We get better at pretending. We get old. But the newly born—in the purity of their dependence, pleasure, and exhaustion—tell the honest truth about who we are and what our existence feels like most of the time.

Her quiet cries echo the beauty and brokenness of every created one that has gone before her, and when I hear it I instinctively whisper, “I know. I know.”

A lump forms in my throat the way it does when the truth about things has been revealed again. All I can feel is grateful that I get to be alive to this moment, to a love so much bigger than myself.

Hallelujah.

She is born.

And I am priviledged to welcome her into the fullness of this difficult, wonderful world.

April 5th, 2012 § 48

Days ago during my 200 mile drive, I was thinking about how often people in my life call me “Miss Clauson” in casual conversation.

Probably too often.

I don’t know what kind of vibes I’m giving off to elicit this prim designation, but I laughed out my mortification for a good seven miles.

Where am I?

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